Thursday, January 28, 2010

In the Hospital

As you probably all understand, we haven't posted much on the blog since we found out that Natalie has relapsed. It's been very painful that it hurts to even talk, write, and share our hearts. We've gone through many days of just sobbing and I know it needs to come out. As I am typing this now, I find myself crying. That's how heavy our hearts are with sadness. It feels like it our lives have stopped again, and we are in this strange waiting room begging to be able to rejoin the rest of the world again.

We don't understand why we are back here. What we do know is that we have a lot of love for Natalie and you all have a lot of love for Natalie. The Bible says that love conquers all and it never fails. If we could measure our love, would it be enough to cure Natalie? We are really hoping so. We are hoping it can move mountains and do miracles. It's the only thing we have a lot of these days. Our faith is a little low, our strength is low, and our joy is low.

Speaking of low, Natalie finished chemo two days ago, and her counts are low. This chemo medicine is really strong and is hitting her hard. She is getting some platelets today so the Benedryl has knocked her out. She is sleeping right now. We need prayers for her body to do amazingly well through all this-- no infection, no ICU, nothing bad.

When Natalie first heard got readmitted, she was so sad. She didn't really want to talk about her sadness. She was really enjoying being back at school, and looking forward to the class field trip coming up to the Chabot Space Center. We gave her some space because we felt the same way. Natalie and Sean were both sad. Grant and I were both sad and mad. None of us could believe this was happening again.

We've been telling her about the bone marrow drives that people are all working hard for. We've been asking anyone we see who is asian, or know somebody who is asian, to get tested and registered through the National Bone Marrow Registry. We've been sharing various stories to Natalie. We are all trying to fight through this and stay positive. Natalie is starting to accept being back here. I think we have accepted it too. She started to do some art again, she is finishing a book a day in the Boxcar Children series, she is laughing and talking to the nurses. She was willing to do Skype with Sean last night. Afterwards, she said that it was so much fun to do that. We talk about how much fun we had away from the hospital and we talk about the future. We want her to have a sweet future.

Thank you to all who are doing everything they can to get tested or getting people to get tested for Natalie. She is a unique person so we have to pray really hard that she will find a great match.

Today is Bingo day at the hospital and that always puts a smile on Natalie's face.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for posting, Tammy. Our hearts and prayers are with you. We've been sending the word out to all friends and family as well to get registered...and enouraging them to encourage their circle of friends.

Love,
The Kiyunas

Autumn said...

Sending all my love your way, Nakatanis!!! We are missing you all like crazy! Ella has drawn many pictures and written a bunch of letters and stories to you, Natalie. She wanted me to tell you that her dad and I are both working really hard on making sure your bone marrow drives bring in as many people as possible. Ella says, "Tell Natalie I love her!"
Hugs & Prayers,
Autumn

Karen said...

Greetings from Karen in Seattle, one of Cameron's Children's Worship teachers. Please know that news of Natalie's return to the hospital is so much on our minds and hearts and prayer lists. We are together with you in this fight. Some of our church families have gone through the remission-recurrence cycle, and know exactly what you face. We'll do our best to get the word out to sign more people up to be marrow donors. In the meantime, may Christ, who is our Resurrection and Life, strengthen and sustain you all every second of every day.